Straight From the Pages of Vogue

That's right, Ladies. Have you bought your Easter hat yet? Will you be attending this year's Kentucky Derby? Well don't buy a hat until you've seen what all of the stylish fashionistas will be wearing this spring. The imaginative stylists (I mean staff) at Primary Children's Medical Center EEG lab created this wonderful chapeaux for Keelie this morning while she was having a routine EEG. Keelie's beautiful hat came complete with uncooperative weather and a semi-truck load of quarter-pound hamburgers on the freeway; however, each decorative hat is custom made for your wearing enjoyment. We guarantee that with your hat, you will also receive one sleep-deprived night, hat hair covered in paste, and a twenty-minute nap on a hospital bed with a video camera directed right at your face. All of this for the amazingly low price of $450. Get yours now before supplies run out.

Next month in Vogue you will learn how to achieve Angelina Jolie's fabulous pout using the latest cosmetic procedure sweeping the country: tripping up the stairs and putting your teeth through you lip. (She managed to do this the night before the EEG while she was punch-drunk from sleep deprivation.)