Spread the Word to End the Word

In honor of the Special Olympics campaign, Spread the Word to End the Word, I'm publishing a repost of "What Are You Really Trying to Say?" Re-read the post, click on the link, or go to www.r-word.org. Check it out, take the pledge, and tell your family and friends!


"What Are You Really Trying to Say?"

Oh, sure, I've used the word. Who of us hasn't used coarse language from time to time? My husband has used the word. I'll even go as far as admitting that sometimes, when I'm really irritated with something or someone, the word still pops into my head; but that's as far as it goes.

The word I am referring to is retard, or retarded.

I am calling on the world to erase this word from the vernacular. Eradicate the abuse of this word in expressing frustration, irritation, or feelings of shame, i.e.) Are you ________?!? That's ________. I'm such a ______. I hear it all the time from young and old alike. I've heard it in movies, on television, and I've read it in books. If you feel you must use an abrasive expression to convey your feelings, might I suggest a thesaurus?

The reason I bring this subject up is that my daughter could be considered mentally retarded. (Though it pains me to write these words. I'm still holding out for a miracle here.) Is she a bad person? No. Is she living her life in a way deserving of derision? No. Has she offended anyone? No. Then why is it okay for people to use her in this way? Why is it acceptable to treat her and her peers as put downs, as a way to express annoyance or irritation?

I ask that you look at my daughter. She is the light of my life and a source of endless joy for my family. Indeed, she is beautiful. Wouldn't you agree? Next time you feel like that word might just slip from your lips, think of her. What is it you are really trying to say?


Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Let me know what you think.
Keep smiling.

Comments

Rebecca Talley said…
I can't imagine why anyone would use that word with your daughter. She's a gorgeous little girl with so much light in her eyes.

I also find it offensive because I know kids will use it with my son. In fact, adults will use it with my son. I don't like that word at all.

Thank you for this post. It really touched me.
Kristina P. said…
Fiauna, I completely agree. And that word almost never escapes my lips anymore.
Snarky Belle said…
Thank you for this post. I always think of my stillborn daughter when people throw that word around. Physically and mentally her body was retarded. The word should never be used to express frustration, shame, or irritation. I certainly feel not one of those when I think of my child. Again, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I sincerely appreciate your wisdom.
You are so right. We're trying to not say that word. We would never say that about Kiki. :)
Em said…
powerful fiauna, thank you.
vocabulary checked!
Unknown said…
we were taught as young children it was akin to the swear words we should never use. and told what a nasty word it was and why.
i also had a cousin with sever cerebral palsy that the world looked at as severely retarded who was very brilliant she just couldn't get it out.
Kathy P said…
Your daughter is absolutely beautiful. I love her smile. And I love that you wrote this post!

My kids and their friends say it every so often, and I will scold them. But I am going to strike it from their vocabulary completely.

I love that you are bringng attention to it. Actually, these little spirits that have been sent to us developmentally disabled, they are the ones we should strive to be like. They are more pure. More honest. More unspotted.

I loved this Fiauna!! Your posts just keep getting better and better!
3 Bay B Chicks said…
I have always loathed the word "retard." It seems so derogatory...which is funny because I like to swear from time to time.

I will definitely keep your daughter in my mind's eye. She is lovely and not deserving of this in anyway.

-Francesca
Fiauna,
That is a wonderful post, it really sheds light on a word that is used so freely. Your daughter is beautiful.
Trent said…
Fiauna,

We have had this conversation before so AMEN to mentioning it! Its such a bad habit. Ofcourse it became a bad word to me when Carson was diagnosed, and opened my eyes to how easily the world uses it( and I had occasionally in the past). Its like fingers on a Chalkboard when I hear it now. All kids are wonderful in this world and are any of us really "normal?" hee hee

Rachel
I hate this word as well. I wish it could just be stricken from the English language. I never use it either, but my teens and hubby occasionally do and I always tell them how much I hate it.
Susan Anderson said…
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Susan Anderson said…
We were punished for calling each other stupid, let alone anything else. And the word you're speaking of was widely used at the time.

Thanks for your post, which is a good reminder.

As for your daughter, she is absolutely lovely.
Lara Neves said…
I hate that word. And I always have. Thank you for this beautiful post.