The Optimistic Pessimist

Last night, after the kids had been tucked into bed, Aaron and I sat down to watch Michael J. Fox's Adventures of an Incurable Optimist. It really gave me a lot to think about. So much of what he said resonated with me that I began to wonder, am I an optimist with a eye on reality? Or am I a happy pessimist? Is being a pessimist all that bad? Is being an optimist all it's cracked up to be? I've settled that I can be both, and enjoy the benefits of each frame of mind.

While I know that I am not truly an optimist, I don't really consider myself a pessimist either. I don't always look for the positive, but I don't dwell on the negative either. I like to call myself a hopeful pessimist; you know, hope for the best but expect the worst. For instance, a few years back when Aaron proposed going to Japan with out our children, I looked at him and said, "We'd better get our Last Will and Testament in order." It's not that I expected the plane to fall out of the sky and bury us beneath the Pacific ocean. It's just that if dying in a plane crash was a possibility, I wanted to be prepared.

When Keelie was diagnosed with Autism and a seizure disorder, Aaron and I clung to a quote from the movie Elizabeth Town: "If it wasn't this, it'd be something else." While that sounds pretty negative, this saying really helped us look at our situation in a positive light. If it wasn't the trial of Keelie's disability, it would be some other trial, instead. Trials are a given; they're part of life. And then, during last night's show, Lance Armstrong said something that really made sense. He said, "My life would have still been good [without the cancer], but it wouldn't have looked like this." Our trials help us see life more clearly. We become more focused on our goals and appreciating the good things in our lives. Optimism becomes a survival instinct.

I don't think that optimism is always finding the positive, it's not always seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. An optimist can still be a realist. And I don't think that pessimists always look for the negative in any given set of circumstances. A hopeful pessimist is preparing for the inevitable trials in life.

I think Victor Frankl said it best when he said: "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms--to choose one's attitude to any given set of circumstances, to choose one's way." Isn't that the very essence of being an optimist? To choose to be happy despite undesirable conditions.

Michael J. Fox said, "If I could do everything, I'd have no reason to hope." Being the quote collector that I am, this one will definitely go up on the wall of my quote hall of fame. And every time I read it, I'll remember that I am an optimistic pessimist, and I will have hope.