Finding the Tipping Point
So, I've had a wonderful winter break from school. Ah, it's been delightful. We had an idyllic holiday with our family (Santa brought the kids a dog for Christmas). I've actually had time to do some inner reflection and I've come to a conclusion about myself, had an epiphany of sorts: I have trouble with finding balance. So it has been all of my life; I either push myself too hard, or not at all. The problem with this is that it leads to burnout or failure and the end result of all my work is usually mediocrity.
Early on, my lack of balance manifested itself, so my mom would say, in my lack of desire to be born. According to my mother's recollections, I was an astounding four weeks late! In August! And even then, I wouldn't push myself to breath. But boy, when it came to growth and development, I went over the top, learning to roll over in the hospital bassinet.
Later on, in school, I was all gung-ho, earning straight A's and being placed in the gifted and talented program (I know, hard to believe now). I pushed myself so hard striving to be the top student in my class. When I failed to achieve that goal, realizing that while I was a good student, I was no scholar, I stopped pushing at all. The end result was a mish-mash of college credits and no degree.
I can see this pattern throughout my life. With running, it's go big or go home. I run at the top of my pace and burnout fast. With blogging, I write every day or go months without so much as looking at my keyboard. What happens (and is currently happening as I type this) is I begin to doubt myself. I lose confidence in my abilities and I give up.
Recent events have brought to my attention that life is not a race. Finding a good pace, that comfortable yet challenging spot just before the tipping point, is vital to progression. In life, the all-or-nothing approach seldom works--at least not long-term. Yet, failure to accept challenges and push through tough times yields no reward.
I'm saying this more for myself than for anyone else: So what if I don't finish my BA until I'm 40-ish? So what if I don't publish a book in this decade--or this century, for that matter? So what if I never win a race, or finish a marathon, or receive the honors and accolades of this life? If I did resolutions (which I don't), this year I would resolve to slow down in some places while picking up the pace in others. As long as I keep trying, stand up to the challenges of this life, and find a balance between striving to meet my goals and taking care of my responsibilities, then I can claim success.
Happy 2011! May the new year fulfill all of your expectations--and then some.
Early on, my lack of balance manifested itself, so my mom would say, in my lack of desire to be born. According to my mother's recollections, I was an astounding four weeks late! In August! And even then, I wouldn't push myself to breath. But boy, when it came to growth and development, I went over the top, learning to roll over in the hospital bassinet.
Later on, in school, I was all gung-ho, earning straight A's and being placed in the gifted and talented program (I know, hard to believe now). I pushed myself so hard striving to be the top student in my class. When I failed to achieve that goal, realizing that while I was a good student, I was no scholar, I stopped pushing at all. The end result was a mish-mash of college credits and no degree.
I can see this pattern throughout my life. With running, it's go big or go home. I run at the top of my pace and burnout fast. With blogging, I write every day or go months without so much as looking at my keyboard. What happens (and is currently happening as I type this) is I begin to doubt myself. I lose confidence in my abilities and I give up.
Recent events have brought to my attention that life is not a race. Finding a good pace, that comfortable yet challenging spot just before the tipping point, is vital to progression. In life, the all-or-nothing approach seldom works--at least not long-term. Yet, failure to accept challenges and push through tough times yields no reward.
I'm saying this more for myself than for anyone else: So what if I don't finish my BA until I'm 40-ish? So what if I don't publish a book in this decade--or this century, for that matter? So what if I never win a race, or finish a marathon, or receive the honors and accolades of this life? If I did resolutions (which I don't), this year I would resolve to slow down in some places while picking up the pace in others. As long as I keep trying, stand up to the challenges of this life, and find a balance between striving to meet my goals and taking care of my responsibilities, then I can claim success.
Happy 2011! May the new year fulfill all of your expectations--and then some.
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Comments
I think 2011 will be a good year for you!
=)
The thing I thought of while I read your post was when you said, "So what if I don't publish my novel?" I realized that we all have different interests and things that are important to us - I myself would consider it torture to have to write and attempt to publish a novel :) So I guess it's all a matter of perspective. That being said, I wish you luck in your journey!