When I Grow Up . . .
Something I heard this morning on the Today Show really hit me like punch in the gut. In a discussion Anne Curry had about "mommy guilt," one of her guests, Liz Zack, editor of Pregnancy & Parenting at iVillage.com, said that working mothers should feel good about what they are doing because they are the embodiment of "career ambition," "drive," and "work ethic," and that "working mommies are the proof" that a child can grow up to be anything they want to be.
I try to stay out of the at-home-mom, at-work-mom debate, but I really had to speak up to this. Did I miss something here? Do stay-at-home moms lack drive? Do we who stay home not provide evidence of a work ethic? What was Liz Zack, thinking when she said those things? Is she insinuating that a mother who stays home is a hypocrite when she expresses to her children they can grow up to be anything they want to be? Is she saying that somehow a stay-at-home mom is letting herself and her children down?
Further more, I feel the need to express that when I was young I wanted to become a stay-at-home mom when I grew up. Since when is it not acceptable for our daughters to answer "I want to be a mommy" when they are asked what they want to be when they grow up? Motherhood is a noble and necessary "profession." If not for mothers, who throughout history have been largely "at home," we would have no opportunities at all. Most of the women I know who are at home are active in activities in the schools, in the church, and in the community. Most women I know who are stay-at-home moms are busy teaching their children to be involved, to help at home, and to be responsible citizens.
The choice to stay at home or to enter the workforce is not always an easy one--I get that. I acknowledge that mothers who work--especially to provide necessities for their families--have to work especially hard. But do not let guilt over your choice let you delude yourself into thinking that your choice in some way makes you better then anyone else who may have had a different choice to make. We all have to work hard. A good mom, a mom who is a good example to her children, is a mom who is happy with the choices she makes and rises to meet the challenges life throws her way.
I try to stay out of the at-home-mom, at-work-mom debate, but I really had to speak up to this. Did I miss something here? Do stay-at-home moms lack drive? Do we who stay home not provide evidence of a work ethic? What was Liz Zack, thinking when she said those things? Is she insinuating that a mother who stays home is a hypocrite when she expresses to her children they can grow up to be anything they want to be? Is she saying that somehow a stay-at-home mom is letting herself and her children down?
Further more, I feel the need to express that when I was young I wanted to become a stay-at-home mom when I grew up. Since when is it not acceptable for our daughters to answer "I want to be a mommy" when they are asked what they want to be when they grow up? Motherhood is a noble and necessary "profession." If not for mothers, who throughout history have been largely "at home," we would have no opportunities at all. Most of the women I know who are at home are active in activities in the schools, in the church, and in the community. Most women I know who are stay-at-home moms are busy teaching their children to be involved, to help at home, and to be responsible citizens.
The choice to stay at home or to enter the workforce is not always an easy one--I get that. I acknowledge that mothers who work--especially to provide necessities for their families--have to work especially hard. But do not let guilt over your choice let you delude yourself into thinking that your choice in some way makes you better then anyone else who may have had a different choice to make. We all have to work hard. A good mom, a mom who is a good example to her children, is a mom who is happy with the choices she makes and rises to meet the challenges life throws her way.
Comments
And if I remember my own experience correctly, those stay-at-home moms pick up a lot of slack for those working moms at school, in carpools, in the community, etc.
=)